I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
