Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
