apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Who died my cat blue again?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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