sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
