dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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