marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
