no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
