Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize