im about as happy as oj after his trial
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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