dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
