garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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