i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
