You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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