Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize