I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
