Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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