Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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