Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
