Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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