your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
