I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
