I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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