I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i think i just lost a toe
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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