He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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