My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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