Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
