remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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