Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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