dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
