Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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