I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
