At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
