im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You are the jesus of drinking
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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