please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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