Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i need an iv and a liver transplant
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
