Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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