You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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