Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Enjoy the penises
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
