OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Let's get the cat blown out
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
