For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
