Heybabeimwearingurpanties
handjob tips. give me some.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
