Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
id be glad to
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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