Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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