Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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