Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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