So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
