all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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