At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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