She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
