Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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