Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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