Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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