His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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