Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
