Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The best revenge is premature balding
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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