girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
